Helping You Define Your Lifestyle

The Best Advice for Getting Through Your Divorce and Moving On

 

When we get married we vow to love our significant other forever. And for the vast majority of us, we take this commitment very seriously and so wall we can to keep these vows. Unfortunately however, marriages often end in divorce and when they do it be contentious and draining.

When we go through a divorce however, because the stakes are so high, we need to do all we can to remain calm and collected and focus on the present and the future even though the past seems like it is what is most important.

Here is some great advice for anyone going through a divorce on how to get through it and come out whole on the other side.

Pick the Right Type of Attorneys

In terms of picking the right attorneys, you need to select a law firm that has all of the attributes to get you the best settlement and also help you through the toughest parts of the divorce. If you are looking for a great divorce and family law firm in the Sydney Australia area, try Prime Lawyers.

To get you the best settlement, the law firm you select needs to be knowledgeable about family law in your state and have a proven track record for satisfying their clients. They should also be very communicative with you and keep you abreast of everything that is going on with your case at every stage. They should communicate with you in common language and allow you to ask any questions whenever you see fit. They should also give you an entire breakdown of the process and what will likely happen when. IF they recommend any actions you need to take including a settlement, they should clearly state your options and tell you why they are recommending the one they choose. This level of professionalism is what will make you feel comfortable and confident while going through your divorce.

The toughest parts of the divorce will likely be dealing with any of the issues around your young children, and having to get into what will be a tense situation with your soon to be former significant other. In terms of the young children if any are involved custody will be a major tension point. Neither party will ever feel comfortable no matter the arrangement.

Most divorces come about because of a series of issues that are very hurtful and emotional. One party feels wronged and is angry and very vengeful. The other party might share these emotions or at least feel misunderstood and defensive. This combination of attitudes and feeling can be explosive.

Your attorney must understand these very sensitive issues and how to guide you in a way that takes into account that they play a major role in any settlement reached.   In the case of young children the attorney must be mindful that you and your spouse will be in each other’s lives for a long time and for the good of everyone calm is the best approach. Regarding the reasons for the divorce, whether it was infidelity, or some other emotionally charged reason, the focus should be on moving on and putting the past behind you. Attorneys can play an important role in these issues and need to take the lead by setting the right tone for the divorce proceedings.

Keep a Good Relationship with Your Children

Divorces can often get so nasty that the couple completely forgets that thee are young people caught up in this process that have no idea what is happening. They know that mommy and daddy are angry and that things are about to change, but they cannot fully process the meaning behind what is occurring. During a divorce, especially a nasty one, one or both of the parents tend to retreat and pull away from the kids and this is a big mistake. In fact the opposite should occur. Children can often feel as if they are the cause of a divorce and this can stay with them for a long time. The parents need to both be there to talk them through what is happening and to let them know that it is not their fault and that you will both continue to love them as always. Make sure that you take extra time and as much as you can keep a routine with them. This will make all the difference to them as custody arrangements become clear.

Remember That the Bad Times are Temporary

When you are going through a divorce it will likely seem that the good times in your life have come to an end and all that remains is pain and misery. This might be bolstered by arguments between you and your spouse that get really nasty, threats that are made and an understanding that you will have to start over completely when the divorce goes through. There is no denying that it will be a bad time for you and your emotions will take quite a beating.

But remember that given time the bad times will pass and things will become less intense and stressful. You will also likely move on and find a new love.

The laws of meetings: How to maximise your business efficiency

It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a large or small company; views on meetings are largely universal. They’re often overused, inefficient, and generally a waste of time.

Of course, there are plenty of exceptions, but in a nutshell, meeting dynamics across the world can be reformed.

Taking this into account, when it comes to your own company’s meetings, how should you approach matters? Should you go with the flow and “become one of them”, or should you challenge the norm and take matters into your own hands? Suffice to say, today’s post is on how to achieve the latter.

Tread carefully with recurrent meetings

The software companies gave themselves a huge pat on the back when they allowed recurrent meetings to be scheduled at the quick of a button. In truth, this is a worthwhile feature for many meetings – but not all.

After all, while you might build a case for a weekly performance meeting, many other recurrent ones aren’t perhaps needed.

Now, before you suggest that you can simply “play it by ear” and decide when you get to the meeting, this is one of the easiest mistakes to make. After all, by the time everyone has arrived and discussed the matter at hand, regardless of how briefly, valuable time has been eaten away.

The moral of the story? Carefully decide whether your recurrent meetings really need to be recurrent.

Get the agenda out there – and make it actionable

There’s nothing worse than being called into a meeting only to find that there is no structure or agenda. In these cases, it often leads to a free-for-all where people can talk about anything and everything, regardless of how important it actually is.

Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule, but in general, an agenda is key. Not only does it give the meeting some much-needed structure, but it also allows you to assign actions to specific people. This, in turn, makes the meeting far more actionable and less of a time waster.

Stop people from going off on tangents

There’s always one person in every meeting that just can’t help themselves. They see the meeting as an opportunity to show off their knowledge, regardless of how relevant it is to the discussion.

While it’s important to allow some level of creativity, you also need to rein people in when they start to go off on tangents. After all, if everyone in the meeting starts to do this, it quickly descends into a free-for-all where nothing gets done.

Could a remote meeting do the trick?

It would be fair to say that we’re now well and truly in the age of remote meetings. Most of us are used to them now and like them due to how much time they can save us.

However, they don’t always work. This is particularly true if you want to impress new clients or perhaps need a whiteboarding session. In these instances, nothing quite beats the dynamics of a face-to-face affair. If you decide to go down this route, the obvious caveat is the knock-on effects. Whether booking that dreaded meeting room or ensuring your insurance obligations are up to scratch ahead of receiving external visitors, make sure you’re prepared for in-person meetings.

Keep it short and sweet

There’s no need to drag out meetings unnecessarily. If you can achieve everything you need to in 30 minutes, there’s no need to make it an hour-long affair.

How to Use Poker as a Mindfulness Practice

Most common mindfulness practices are fundamentally simple. Things like deep breathing, counted breaths, and short breaks and walks can help to calm us, clear our minds, and generate simultaneous states of relaxation and awareness. As much purpose as these small, simple practices have though, there are also some more involved activities that can assist with the development of greater mindfulness. And it may surprise some to learn that the game of poker is among them.

Gaming and Meditation

It is first important to understand that a link has been established between gaming and meditation in general. For a long time there were a lot of misconceptions about gaming as an active, almost violent practice meant solely for young people. But perceptions have changed over time. We now understand that people in all age groups play games of all kinds, and we further accept that a lot of these games have meditative qualities. Gamer testaments and a few scientific studies alike have indicated that the right game can have a soothing effect on one’s mental state.

This is the case with poker as well. A passion for many around the world, it’s a unique game that doesn’t necessarily fall under the umbrella of traditional “gaming” as we tend to think of the term. It is nonetheless similar with regard to mindfulness, however. Approached with intention, it can be a calming, almost meditative hobby for players.

Mental and Emotional Calm

When considering the game of poker specifically, one tends to think first of strategy, luck, and mathematics. In some sense, these are the building blocks of any given game of poker, and it will of course be important for any aspiring player to learn how they all factor in. However, what really helps successful players to win at poker is a sound mindset. The manifestation of a sound overall poker game requires that players learn to accept defeat and to avoid getting too high from a win. It demands reasonable approaches to betting and competition, clear-eyed social interaction, and the ability to operate without ego.

Add those factors up, and what success in poker really demands is mental and emotional calm. Players need skill and strategy to be sure, but above all else they need to be able to clear their minds of various pressures and shut out hasty impulses. This in and of itself is nearly a form of meditation, and certainly serves as a sort of training for mindfulness practice.

Focused Meditation

Beyond helping players to establish a general sense of mental and emotional calm, poker also leads to an ability to focus that, in its own way, is meditative. Generally, a focused meditation is described as the practice of focusing on something intently as a way of staying in the present moment and slowing down inner dialogue. It more or less means zeroing in on one subject to the exclusion of all else for the purpose of clearing one’s head — which is pretty much exactly what one has to do in poker! Even the slightest distraction can be a problem, and while the game demands a lot of attention it still makes for such narrow focus that one can clear one’s mind in a useful and soothing way.

Even given all of these benefits, poker does not comprise an entire mindfulness or meditation routine. For those interested in working on these aspects of personal wellness though, it’s always good to have one more option! Some will find this simple, popular card game to be legitimately beneficial.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like our piece on how to boost your energy, especially useful as we enter a new year and search for fresh motivations!