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The Best Advice for Getting Through Your Divorce and Moving On

 

When we get married we vow to love our significant other forever. And for the vast majority of us, we take this commitment very seriously and so wall we can to keep these vows. Unfortunately however, marriages often end in divorce and when they do it be contentious and draining.

When we go through a divorce however, because the stakes are so high, we need to do all we can to remain calm and collected and focus on the present and the future even though the past seems like it is what is most important.

Here is some great advice for anyone going through a divorce on how to get through it and come out whole on the other side.

Pick the Right Type of Attorneys

In terms of picking the right attorneys, you need to select a law firm that has all of the attributes to get you the best settlement and also help you through the toughest parts of the divorce. If you are looking for a great divorce and family law firm in the Sydney Australia area, try Prime Lawyers.

To get you the best settlement, the law firm you select needs to be knowledgeable about family law in your state and have a proven track record for satisfying their clients. They should also be very communicative with you and keep you abreast of everything that is going on with your case at every stage. They should communicate with you in common language and allow you to ask any questions whenever you see fit. They should also give you an entire breakdown of the process and what will likely happen when. IF they recommend any actions you need to take including a settlement, they should clearly state your options and tell you why they are recommending the one they choose. This level of professionalism is what will make you feel comfortable and confident while going through your divorce.

The toughest parts of the divorce will likely be dealing with any of the issues around your young children, and having to get into what will be a tense situation with your soon to be former significant other. In terms of the young children if any are involved custody will be a major tension point. Neither party will ever feel comfortable no matter the arrangement.

Most divorces come about because of a series of issues that are very hurtful and emotional. One party feels wronged and is angry and very vengeful. The other party might share these emotions or at least feel misunderstood and defensive. This combination of attitudes and feeling can be explosive.

Your attorney must understand these very sensitive issues and how to guide you in a way that takes into account that they play a major role in any settlement reached.   In the case of young children the attorney must be mindful that you and your spouse will be in each other’s lives for a long time and for the good of everyone calm is the best approach. Regarding the reasons for the divorce, whether it was infidelity, or some other emotionally charged reason, the focus should be on moving on and putting the past behind you. Attorneys can play an important role in these issues and need to take the lead by setting the right tone for the divorce proceedings.

Keep a Good Relationship with Your Children

Divorces can often get so nasty that the couple completely forgets that thee are young people caught up in this process that have no idea what is happening. They know that mommy and daddy are angry and that things are about to change, but they cannot fully process the meaning behind what is occurring. During a divorce, especially a nasty one, one or both of the parents tend to retreat and pull away from the kids and this is a big mistake. In fact the opposite should occur. Children can often feel as if they are the cause of a divorce and this can stay with them for a long time. The parents need to both be there to talk them through what is happening and to let them know that it is not their fault and that you will both continue to love them as always. Make sure that you take extra time and as much as you can keep a routine with them. This will make all the difference to them as custody arrangements become clear.

Remember That the Bad Times are Temporary

When you are going through a divorce it will likely seem that the good times in your life have come to an end and all that remains is pain and misery. This might be bolstered by arguments between you and your spouse that get really nasty, threats that are made and an understanding that you will have to start over completely when the divorce goes through. There is no denying that it will be a bad time for you and your emotions will take quite a beating.

But remember that given time the bad times will pass and things will become less intense and stressful. You will also likely move on and find a new love.

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5 Time-Tested Strategies for Financial Success

Financial Success

There are no short cuts to achieving financial success. To build, preserve and expand wealth that lasts you a lifetime, you must follow some proven principles. Here, we’ve compiled a list of 5 of the essential strategies you should make a part of your financial short and long-term plan to help you build your own financial success.

1. Set up a brokerage account

As soon as you’ve opened a bank account and signed up for your company’s retirement savings programme, jump on the next stage of smart wealth building by setting up a brokerage account. With it, you will be able to invest in stocks of different companies, no-transaction-fee mutual funds, as well as exchange-traded funds, which most people can’t access with their 401(k). 

To give you a quick guideline, opening an account with an online broker, Fidelity requires you to start with a deposit of $2,500; while at Charles Schwab, you’ll need only $1,000, which is not compulsory if you signed up for automatic monthly deductions of $100 or more from your account. For better money management and investment planning, it’s advised you go with a debit card that helps you with that goal in addition to making transactions convenient. 

2. Ensure your investing costs are at a minimal level 

Generally, less expenditure means more money in your account. As a fund investor, focus on ETFs and mutual funds with low expense ratios. As we already pointed out, the first thing to do is to register with a reputable online broker such as Fidelity or Charles Schwab so you can buy and sell stocks averaging $7 per trade. Besides, there are top discounters that allow you to trade select ETFs without requiring sales fees. Seriously consider index funds, especially those that track S&P 500, with estimated annual fees of 0.05%. Funds like Mairs & Power Growth (MPGFX) and Dodge & Cox Stock (DODGX) are recommended as they are top low-cost actively managed funds. 

If you have a fund manager, you’ll probably pay an annual consultation fee of 1%; but you can always negotiate for a lower fee. Another option is to go digital with an AI adviser, which can help manage your stock portfolio by using digital technology. An example is Wealthfront, which will not charge you a management fee if your balance is less than $10,000 and requires you to pay only 0.25% per annum for sums above that. You may also check Betterment, which levies just 0.25% of assets under management yearly. 

3. Diversify your investment 

Spreading out your investment with a variety of good value stocks and bonds can help you weather the storms of volatile periods and enhance your long-term ROI outlook. If, for example, your retirement is at least ten years away, keep 70% of your investments in stocks and put 30% in top-quality bonds. Mutual funds are good great for you too. For example, mutual fund managers, Vanguard Wellington (VWELX) keeps two-thirds of investments in stocks, as a principle, and the rest in bonds; and it has maintained a yearly return of 8.2% over the past 20 years. 

4. Rebalance, retarget and realign as necessary 

It’s important you get regularly balance your portfolio up for better overall performance. Move your investment assets around sometimes, divesting some funds off the ones performing well and shoring up the laggards to get a good mix. Always review your brokerage statements at least twice a year to see where your portfolio needs some rebalancing, retargeting or realignment and then go on to make the necessary trades. 

5. Adjust your investments

As your countdown to your retirement, your target should be an investment portfolio that gives you a good return that can stand the tide of inflation and also minimises your risk.  A spread of 50% stocks, 40% bonds and 5% cash is a nice mix that can help you achieve that goal. A mix of 60% stocks and 40% bonds and cash will likely give more growth; but if your risk threshold is less, then try a mix of 60% bonds and cash and 40% stocks.

Living with Depression: How to Keep Working

Living with Depression

In recent times, depression has become one of the most talked about mental illnesses that affect people in ways that no one could have foreseen.  It is easy to get disillusioned especially after you try for a long time and constantly fail to shake that dreadful feeling away

When your depression starts to creep into your work, it is the cue for you to shake things up a bit and try something new. Here are the things that you can do to make sure that you are not crippled by your depression at work.

1.  Break Up Work into Smaller Chunks

When you are depressed, you will find yourself settling for just being able to make things works. However, you will need to do more than just make things work. At some point, you will have to show up to work and get tasks accomplished. 

However, as you very well know, depression tends to scatter your concentration and suck away your energy. So, how do you keep yourself focused and energetic under these conditions?

Break up tasks into small ‘bite-sized’ bites and then work on them that way. Completing achievable goals will give you a sense of satisfaction.

2.  Work Does Not Make Depression Go Away

No doubt, you have heard people tell you or other depressed people, that if you get into something productive, you will not have time for depression. You hear it so much; it starts feeling as if it might be the elusive solution you have been looking for. 

However, this is far from the truth. Productivity will only do so much to distract you from the real problem. You will need to make sure that you are not duped into buying into this false philosophy. Do not fight fire with fire. While it will likely help distract you for a short period, it will not work a long-term cure or solution.

3.  Speak Openly About Your Depression

There is the potential that being open about your depression at work will have some disadvantages that you will not want to deal with. It has been proven, however, that speaking about it is much better than sitting on it and many workplaces now are very open to helping those affected with mental health problems.

1 in 4 people in the lifetime will have a mental health condition which means, realistically speaking, that in an office of 80 people 20 of those people will suffer from a mental health condition at some point.

When an employer or manager is made aware of the situation, they will accommodate the little things that you may miss, and you might even get perks like working from home when you feel like you cannot make it work.

4.  Personalise Your Workspace

It is always great to work in an environment that makes you feel comfortable and welcome. There is a lot that goes into making your space your own. You can start with lighting, colours and noise minimisations. All these things can affect your mental health without your realising it. Go for anything that makes you comfortable and positive. Add plants, family pictures and anything that makes you smile. If you do not want noise, you can get noise-cancelling headphones to block everything out and make yourself focus.  

To Sum Up

It is possible that you can be depressed and still function well. High-functioning depressives can juggle everything that demands attention and still have time to work on themselves. It all has to do with finding the right lifestyle, starting to operate with the right habits and then going for professional help. Medical care and therapy only help when you are doing more than just waiting for pills to kick in or things to get better.

Accept your depression – then challenge it!